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If I was an Octopus I Would Slap 8 People
$14.99
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If I was an Octopus I Would Slap 8 People
Shipping & returns · Ask about sizing or gifting
Eight arms. Eight people. Perfect efficiency.
For the friend with a short fuse and a big heart, and anyone who has daydreamed about extra arms during a crowded commute. Orange tentacles curl up the azure leg while the plan is spelled out in yellow. Gift them to the multitasker who already does everything at once.
Ocean blue, tentacle orange.
Azure with orange tentacles and an orange heel pairs with navy shorts, white sneakers or a beach-day tote.
Tentacles, ready.
Orange octopus tentacles curl up the back of an azure leg, with the full slap plan written in yellow.
Three good reasons to think like an octopus.
- Efficient revenge. IF I WAS AN OCTOPUS I COULD SLAP EIGHT PEOPLE AT ONCE.
- Bright sea colors. Azure blue with orange tentacles, heel and toe.
- For multitaskers. Busy parents, managers and anyone short on patience.
- One size fits most. Fits men's shoe sizes 7-13. Fits women's shoe sizes 8.5-14.5.
- Materials: 80% cotton, 18% nylon, 2% spandex
- Compliments guaranteed
Your pair, explained.
- Personality
- Funny & Sarcastic · Naughty & Swear Words · Wildlife
- Humor
- Adult humor / strong language. Best for someone whose sense of humor you know.
- Material
- 80% cotton, 18% nylon, 2% spandex
- Size
- Fits men's shoe sizes 7-13; Fits women's shoe sizes 8.5-14.5
- Shipping
- US addresses only. Ships in 1 business day, then 3–5 business days in transit. Estimates skip weekends and US holidays; carrier delays can affect arrival. Order today: estimated arrival . Free standard shipping on $50+ after discounts; $4.99 below $50.
- Returns
- You may return unworn socks with the original tags attached within 30 days of purchase. We refund the price paid for returned items after they arrive at our office and we confirm the return meets these conditions. Original shipping charges are not refundable.
Heads up: SockEm is humor for grown-ups. Our socks (and this site) are meant to be fun and a little cheeky — if that's not your cup of tea, no hard feelings, feel free to click away.
A gift with personality.
Make it your own.
Personality. No small talk required.
A tiny conversation starter. A very personal gift. A reason to retire those socks from college.
A few good questions.
How do I choose the right size?
Check the product description and available size options. Shoe size is a better guide than age alone. If you are between sizes or buying a gift, confirm the recipient’s shoe size before ordering.
What is this pair made from?
Check the product description for the maker’s fabric information. Need a specific fiber or fit feature? Ask us before ordering.
How should I care for these socks?
Follow the maker’s washing and drying instructions on the packaging or care label. The instructions can vary by fabric and design.
Can I give these as a gift?
Choose a design that fits their interests and check their shoe size. Any available gift-wrapping options are shown with the product or during checkout.
When will my order arrive?
Delivery options and charges are calculated at checkout for your destination. Check our shipping and returns information before placing your order.
Better together. Just like your favorite people.
Make a little set. Preview a suggested pair to choose its size and add it to your bag.
Suggested companions · discounts, if available, appear in your cart.
